Sublime

John Bowlby, an anthropologist and psychoanalyst, studied patterns of attachment between mothers and children and came up with four basic schemas: free/autonomous, dismissing, enmeshed-ambivalent, and disorganized.

When I was a student in Germany, an old German professor said that the way to choose a wife is to look at her mother. If the mother is a good woman and the kind that you regard as ideal, then marry any one of her daughters, and she will shape a life for you.

It bothered Joe when his wife was in this mood. In an attempt to relieve his anxiety, he would ask his wife what was wrong. After a little coaxing, she would spend the next couple of hours venting to Joe about how mistreated she was at work. Joe would listen and offer helpful suggestions, hoping that by doing so, she would get over her mood.

You scratch my back and … Some researchers believe that what distinguishes good marriages from failing ones is that in good marriages spouses respond in kind to each other’s positive overtures. When one helps out with a chore, the other intentionally reciprocates, and so on. In essence, the couple function with an unwritten agreement to offer recom

For, while a man’s not being boring will scale with relative ease to a larger audience, a woman’s developing a relationship with each student obviously won’t. And, beyond a certain point, it will simply not be feasible.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention puts the divorce rate of people who live together before marriage at 12 percent higher than those who didn’t cohabitate before marriage.

One of the most startling findings of our research is that couples who have maintained happy marriages rarely do anything that even partly resembles active listening when they’re upset.