Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness

a much better way to track the health of our friendships is to measure our positivity, consistency, and vulnerability with others.

Knowing myself: “How easy is it for me to own what I’m feeling? How often do I practice telling others my real feelings? How often do I ask for what I need?” • New activities: “Do I generate ideas of things to do? Do I extend additional invitations even if others don’t initiate as often as I do?” • Expanding conversation: “How often do I ask though

“norming,” which is when communication improves as we discuss our expectations, responsibilities, and roles.

PSEUDO-COMMUNITY. This is where we demonstrate our willingness to be friendly and likable.

affirm everything you can think of about your friend. The number one value of friendship is to boost positivity by communicating acceptance—so cheer for her parenting style, her work ambitions, her beauty, her big heart. Everything.

“What’s one thing you’re celebrating or enjoying these days?” and “What is one thing causing you stress right now?”

In the EMPTINESS stage it feels worse before it gets better, as we are forced to shed whatever distortions (bias, defensiveness, fear, prejudice, need for power and control) are preventing real communication in the relationship.

ACKNOWLEDGE DUALISM:

Encourage her to really feel her successes!