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Modern psychologists are taken with the paradigm of the "win-win" solution. In marriage, the solutions are more a "lose-lose" solution out of which both parties win, for in the love configuration losing provides the gift, the gift that always returns.
GERRY SPENCE • HOW TO ARGUE AND WIN EVERY TIME
Because of these dissimilarities, most marriages (including healthy, happy ones) follow a comparable pattern of conflict in which the wife, who is constitutionally better able to handle the stress, brings up sensitive issues. The husband, who is not as able to cope with it, will attempt to avoid getting into the subject. He may become defensive and
... See moreJohn Gottman • The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
Indeed, men and women alike, we all share these sensitivities.
Dr. Sue Johnson • Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
What is left is two unhealthy communicators who struggle to state what they want or need, who expect their partner to understand instinctively how to help them, and who create secretive negotiations based on works and perceived debts.
Adam Smith • Slaying Your Fear: A guide for people who grapple with insecurity
relationships—having an annoying office mate or room-mate, or having chronic conflict with your spouse—is one of the surest ways to reduce your happiness.
Jonathan Haidt • The Happiness Hypothesis
It’s a biological fact: men are more easily overwhelmed by marital conflict…
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