Sublime

States of conviction are attempts to regulate excitement.

My thesis is that one can't overcome a problem that is part of one's personality. The key word in the statement is overcome. The attempt to do that turns one part of the self against the other; the ego, through the will, is set against the body and its feelings. Instead of harmony between these two antithetical aspects of human nature, a conflict i

Marriage is a giant inhibitor of impulse set up by our conscience to keep our libidinous, naive, desiring selves in check. What we are essentially buying into by submitting to its dictates is the insight that we are (as individuals) likely to make very poor choices under the sway of strong short-term impulses. To marry is to recognize that we requi

I hope you get the idea of how to set yourself free from the tyranny of the critical parent “shoulds.” I don’t believe that you can totally erase these old messages completely, but you can create an antidote belief to offset the past that will enable you to live in the now without the guilt.

Adlerian psychology is a psychology of courage. Your unhappiness cannot be blamed on your past or your environment. And it isn’t that you lack competence. You just lack courage. One might say you are lacking in the courage to be happy.

However, as the MEM becomes more aware of his unconscious responses, he can use his left-brain awareness and “reason with” his very protective right brain. Then he can correct his first reaction and respond more reasonably.

Research shows that this part of the CBT approach is not what is powerful about it, and it often doesn’t work as well as learning to accept that we are having unpleasant emotions and thoughts and then working to reduce their role in our lives instead of trying to get rid of them.