Fear of Life: The Wisdom of Failure

the “death instinct,” which he saw as a “compulsion inherent in organic life to restore an earlier state of things.”

The defenses we erect to protect us create the very condition we are trying to avoid. Thus, when someone builds a castle to protect his liberty, he ends up as a prisoner in his own castle because he dares not leave it.

The distinction can be made clear by using the analogy of a record player and comparing life to the music it sends forth. The active force is electricity, which runs the motor, which turns the record, allowing the needle to follow the grooves. When the record come to an end, the music ceases-the equivalent of death. The latter is not a compulsion b

Struggling against fate only enmeshes one more deeply in its coils. Like an animal caught in a net, the more one struggles, the more tightly bound one becomes. Does this mean we are doomed? We are doomed only when we struggle against ourselves. The main thrust of therapy is to help a person stop struggling against himself. That struggle is self-des

There is much in common between instinct and fate. Both can be described as blind forces inherent in the nature of things. Both have the quality of predictability. Both are structured in the organism either genetically or characterologically. There is, however, an important difference between them. Instinct describes an act or a force that furthers

One of the characteristics of fate is its predictability. Those of us who do not believe in fate or oracles might think that the future is unpredictable. To some extent this is true, but there is a greater measure of predictability in life than most people realize. Prediction is possible wherever there are structures, for structure determines funct

The neurotic character is the person's defense against being broken. In effect, he says, “I will do what you want and be what you want. Do not break me.” The person doesn't realize that his submission amounts to a break. Once formed, his neurotic character constitutes a denial of the break, while his muscular armoring functions as a splint that doe

Why doesn't neurosis heal spontaneously like any other illness or disease? The answer is that the neurotic interferes with this healing process. He keeps picking the scab off the wound. By his defense or resistance, he keeps the injury alive. That is what it means to be neurotic and why we can define neurosis as a struggle against fate.

Destiny is often used as a synonym for fate, but the two words have slightly different meanings. Destiny is related to the word destination. It refers to what one becomes, whereas fate describes what one is. Fish are fated to swim as birds are fated to fly, but that is hardly their destiny.