On love, limerence, and other-significant-others

Jacob Falkovich says that single people often seek out similarity when complementarity is what makes relationships cohere long-term. It’s a great observation. But how to operationalize it? Maybe: look for someone you can’t initially understand, but also don’t feel like walking away from.

The person those entries were about hasn’t crossed my mind in months. But, at the moment, it was potent. It was real to me. Now? I couldn’t even tell you what the color of their eyes were. Isn't that just the most 20-something, melodramatic moment of intensity? Where it feels like both nothing and everything matters? I live, live, live for that.

I believe most people we spend time with should be “low maintenance, high intimacy

I miss the futile fantasizing and being the precise target demographic of Taylor Swift’s marketing efforts. I miss being on the floor, ready to nail-to-cross myself for love. The dull aftertaste of heartbreak lingering for days, often weeks. But then, you know, I look in the mirror, and I like what I see. I see that I’m protected and can think stra... See more

I know that limerence can be misleading. It can be the beginning of a good relationship, or a complete disaster. If someone feels like the answer to the question of your life, you might want to address the fundamental sense of lack that they are triggering.

I think all romance is an enduring curiosity for another person.