emotional intelligence

Harris says we need to dispel the myth that emotional intelligence is a soft skill, she says EQ is a strength because it takes strength to master oneself, and to humble yourself enough to see another person’s perspective.

the core skill of emotional literacy is paying attention to feelings in order to determine what emotions you are currently experiencing.

A sign of emotional intelligence is moving from “You made me feel” to “This is how I reacted.” Our emotions aren’t caused by other people’s actions. They’re shaped by our interpretations. Blaming others gives them power over our feelings. Taking responsibility empowers us.

When there is a lack of interoception, we’re unable to fully feel the sensations associated with emotions. Unfortunately, this means they remain beneath our conscious awareness and instead are projected onto others — or we find ourselves emotionally overreacting in ways that are rarely conducive to our long-term goals.

Let’s say someone has both a high-functioning theory of mind and an overflowing well of compassion. What then? Well, this is what Hoffman calls “empathic over-arousal.” A person will feel so worn down by the intensity of other people’s emotions that it wears them down — it turns their distress into my actual distress. This might not seem like a bad... See more