Wes Kao — Stop learning to give feedback. Learn to receive it.

The problem of failing to ask for feedback is not unique to therapists; it’s common among all kinds of people. Just think about the number of people you have personal or professional relationships with: friends, landscapers, dentists, mailmen, spouses, bosses. Now, how often do any one of them regularly ask you, “How am I doing?” in an authentic wa

Okay, so let’s say you’re the one hearing feedback from your partner—now what? Yield. Don’t get defensive, or go tit for tat, or any of that Adaptive Child behavior. You, the listener, also need to be centered. You too need to remember love. What can you give this person to help them feel better? You can begin by offering the gift of your presence.

Start by asking for criticism, not by giving it Don’t dish it out before you show you can take it