The Life-Changing Power of Shutting Up

Work on Me First, Us Second • Remember that the only person you can directly control is yourself. Focus on What You Really Want • When you find yourself moving toward silence or violence, stop and pay attention to your motives. • Ask yourself: “What am I acting like I want?” • Then, clarify what you really want. Ask yourself: “What do I want for my

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You need to suspend your reaction when you feel like striking back, to listen when you feel like talking back, to ask questions when you feel like telling your opponent the answers, to bridge your differences when you feel like pushing for your way, and to educate when you feel like escalating. 

Check your own emotions.

Especially if the person is angry and attacking you. It’s time for you to be the non-angry one. Take a good look at this person’s face. It’s a face of someone who is hurt. Maybe saying things unrelated to the hurt.

Replace all of the shocking, mean, hateful, incorrect, ignorant, offensive, cruel things coming out of this pe

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someone offers a less-than-brilliant idea in a meeting, don’t criticize it. Say nothing. When someone challenges one of your decisions, don’t argue with them or make excuses. Quietly consider it and say nothing. When someone makes a helpful suggestion, don’t remind them that you already knew that. Thank them and say nothing. This is not a semantic

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