The Essential Guide to Overcoming Avoidant Personality Disorder
Many of us have learned to run from closeness rather than take the risks involved. We run from love or prevent closeness in many ways. We push people away or do hurtful things to them so they won’t want to be close to us. We do ridiculous things in our minds to talk ourselves out of wanting to be close. We find fault with everyone we meet; we rejec
... See moreMelody Beattie • Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Revised and Updated)
For some of us, the fear of intimacy overpowers the desire for it. It feels safer to be alone or in relationships where we are “unemotionally involved” than it does to be emotionally vulnerable, close, and loving. I understand that. In spite of the range of needs and wants that go unmet when we don’t love, it may feel safer to not love. We don’t ri
... See moreMelody Beattie • Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Revised and Updated)
She develops an attitude of anxious expectation regarding her needs and the world. Emotional deprivation can have the same effect. If the child is very heart-centered and needs to feel loved in each moment, but her parents withdraw their heart connection whenever they are displeased or just busy with something else, the child feels emotionally aban
... See moreSteven Kessler • The 5 Personality Patterns: Your Guide to Understanding Yourself and Others and Developing Emotional Maturity
Avoidance always has its reasons. The organism is trying to protect itself, ensure its well-being, and preserve self-esteem—but in the wrong way. Since emotions, negative and positive, express our assessment of the significance of different aspects of reality for ourselves, when we bury feelings and emotion we also bury ourselves. This is what it m
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