Stop Walking on Eggshells

Before recovery, most adult children assume they are wrong whatever the situation might be. If a mistake is made on the job, the adult child takes responsibility for it. If someone feels upset, we think we might have done something to cause the feelings in another.

We cannot believe there is another way to live. With this attitude, we easily push away suggestions for real help because we do not want to give up our focus on another person. At the core of this learned control is a fear that we will not know who we are if we do not have an addict or dysfunctional person in our lives.

There are other forms of adult child insanity, isolation, and manipulation that we engage in, which usually leaves us feeling abandoned, angry, or confused. Yet, we try again, repeating the same mistakes. Fueled by fear, our false self discounts real avenues of help. The false self chooses to reapply old thinking and behaving that guarantees the sa

It is no longer Camelot. It is no longer even person-to-person. The distortion is bizarre. I will stay because “He doesn’t beat me.” “She doesn’t run around.” “He hasn’t lost his job.” Imagine getting credit for the behaviors we ordinary mortals do as a matter of course. Even if the worst is true—even if he does beat you; even if she does run aroun