Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

Boundaries are limits that say: “This is how far I shall go. This is what I will or won’t do for you. This is what I won’t tolerate from you.”

Maintain your own sense of reality despite what the other person says. Reflect the pain back to its proper owner—the person with BPD. Express confidence that the BP can learn to cope with his or her own feelings. Offer your support. Make it clear that the BP is the only person who can control his or her feelings and reactions. Show by your actions

Tolerate intolerable behavior ■Avoid dealing with a situation because it might cause conflict ■Not ask for what you want ■Sacrifice yourself to keep the peace

Passive boundaries, such as withdrawal, triangulation, pouting, affairs, and passive-aggressive behavior, are extremely destructive to a relationship.