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Seldom does this search take the form of asking the really important question: What can I make of myself that would make me worthy to give and receive such love? We want to bask in the warmth of devotion that overlooks, even indulges, our failings. Apart from our mothers, this pleasure can be a little hard to find—or to maintain over time. What I a

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“Fearlessness is what love seeks,” Hannah Arendt wrote in her superb early work on love and loss. “Such fearlessness exists only in the complete calm that can no longer be shaken by events expected of the future… Hence the only valid tense is the present, the Now.”

In Embracing the Beloved, authors Stephen and Ondrea Levine wrote: “If another person is the most important thing in your life, then you’re in trouble and they’re in trouble because they become responsible for your suffering. But if consciousness is the most important thing in our lives and relationship is a means toward that end … Ah! then we are

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“You deserve to be loved and chosen — not almost loved, or almost chosen. ... Have the courage to let go of the people who leave your heart confused. Let go of the people who make you feel like you are compromising all that you desire, and all that you hope for, and all of the goodness and the beauty that you know exists in this world, for a skinny

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