They did not discover their possibilities for strength and self-support in the normal course of their development through childhood and adolescent years; now they may have organized their lives around their sense of deficiency, trying either to please, to be taken care of, or, alternately, to control and dominate, to manipulate and coerce the satis

Because we are dialogical beings, our self-esteem emerges from contact with others who provide us with the five A’s. The five A’s are not extras. They are the components of the healthy, individuated ego: Attention from others leads to self-respect. Acceptance engenders a sense of being inherently a good person. Appreciation generates a sense of sel

For me, no romantic relationship was going to fix the problems I had in feeling abandoned by my father. I needed to find out why I felt that way, how to overcome it, and then learn new skills to put into practice.