Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

Instead, you will begin to see that you are partners suffering from past hurts and also partners in the project of helping each other create safety in your relationship and respond to each other’s needs. This way, you both can experience the sensations of feeling fully alive and joyful connecting. You are allies on this journey, not competitors. Yo

You will feel safe and respected with your partner. Your relationship will be loving, honest, and committed. You can experience play, laughter, pleasure, and trust in your relationship. Your partner will be open to learning how to be in conflict together in a healthy way. Your partnership is rooted in a mutual willingness to grow together. Your par

There is a concept informally called woundology, where couples spend too much time dwelling on the past, which should be avoided. Nonetheless, spending some time sharing your childhood experiences is vital because it gives you a better understanding of your partner’s inner reality and helps you shift from judgment to curiosity and empathy.

On anxiety or curiosity as responses to a partner's 'other'-ness

I mean, faced with the unknown of our partners, we can either be anxious — and this is true with the unknown of life. We can be anxious, we can want to close the gap, we can want to seek the familiar in that space, or we can leave that space open and respond

to it with curiosity. And