
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: Third Edition

There is a concept informally called woundology, where couples spend too much time dwelling on the past, which should be avoided. Nonetheless, spending some time sharing your childhood experiences is vital because it gives you a better understanding of your partner’s inner reality and helps you shift from judgment to curiosity and empathy.
Helen LaKelly Hunt • Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: Third Edition
As you work your way step by step through Imago Therapy, you will be creating a zone of safety between you—a sacred space we call the Space Between—that is essential for getting the love you want. You might liken this zone to a river that runs between you. You both drink from the river and bathe in it, so it’s important that it be free from garbage
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Imago Dialogue introduces a radically new way of talking that makes all conversations safe. As you practice this essential exercise, you will create a safe environment in which you can begin to understand each other on a deeper level than ever before. The important thing to remember is that safety is the key. When you and your partner learn to crea
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Instead, you will begin to see that you are partners suffering from past hurts and also partners in the project of helping each other create safety in your relationship and respond to each other’s needs. This way, you both can experience the sensations of feeling fully alive and joyful connecting. You are allies on this journey, not competitors. Yo
... See moreHelen LaKelly Hunt • Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: Third Edition
Outside your awareness, her absence triggered feelings you had decades ago when you were being raised by working parents.
Helen LaKelly Hunt • Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: Third Edition
You must move from self-care to caring for this Space Between.
Helen LaKelly Hunt • Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: Third Edition
Later in life, when you have a conflict with your partner, the intensity of your response can be amplified by this hidden pathway.
Helen LaKelly Hunt • Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: Third Edition
Safety is nonnegotiable, and it is created by structure. Safety makes it possible for couples to be vulnerable with each other, drop their guards, open up, and become what we call present to each other.
Helen LaKelly Hunt • Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: Third Edition
your old brain segregates all people into six categories. Is this someone to: (1) nurture, (2) be nurtured by, (3) have sex with, (4) run away from, (5) submit to, or (6) attack.