Since they originally disowned their inner child in order to survive, their re-owning process will include admitting that they actually do have an inner child, and that the child’s needs are valid and important.

It stands to reason, however, that a child who has been abused, or who has been often threatened with the withdrawal of parental love—and unfortunately we are becoming increasingly aware of what a disturbing proportion of children in our culture are so mistreated—will be so worried about keeping his sense of self from coming apart as to have little

When our needs are consistently unmet, our pain and disconnection are compounded. Self-preservation leads to self-betrayal. It’s a loop we can easily get stuck in. The cycle of unresolved trauma, repetition of maladaptive coping behaviors, and consistent denial of Self allows the pain to live on in our mind and body, where it can eventually make us

Over time, this kind of solitary sexual expression can become addictive, because it’s detached from the other parts of his life and from his value system. This addictive process is described in Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes.