Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: Second Edition

Every adult relationship requires conflict before true commitment can happen. Each struggle helps you discard yet another illusory ideal about the other person, yet another illusory title to have your expectations met. Every conflict clears away the sham in favor of a fuller revelation of this real person who has not met my every need or measured u

they told me that this fit for them. They told me they now understood their own unspoken longings

Having your own bad, immature, and broken parts open to the scrutiny of that person Solving conflict in ways that do not involve leaving the relationship Staying in the relationship even if the other person changes for the worse Being called to sacrifice many individual preferences for the sake of the relationship

As partners increasingly come to know and bond with each other, they build what I call their Sound Relationship House. The Seven Principles comprise the Sound Relationship House’s many floors or levels. These principles are intricately connected to trust and commitment, which form the house’s protective, weight-bearing walls.