His need for being desired is so strong that whatever attention he may receive from his wife is not satisfying enough.

Self-esteem is critical in seduction. (Your attitude toward yourself is read by the other person in subtle and unconscious ways.) Low self-esteem repels, confidence and self-sufficiency attract. The less you seem to need other people, the more likely others will be drawn to you.

This is a warning against neediness, which, according to the poet Lucretius (who brought Epicurus to a later Roman audience), is the destroyer of love. Neediness sets up another futile aim: we can never get enough from people towards whom we feel needy. They may provide on one occasion, but when they fall short of our inflated expectations the next

It’s enormously tempting to seek out a distract date, a Band-Aid boy/girlfriend, but it merely compounds the misguided notion that we source our happiness from our love lives.