Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

To get anywhere in a disagreement, we need to understand the other person’s story well enough to see how their conclusions make sense within it. And we need to help them understand the story in which our conclusions make sense.

The problem for me is that I feel worried and I would like to share why in a way that’s helpful. I don’t seem to know how to do that, and I was wondering if you had any advice.”

Better instead to go in with the purposes of giving them the news, of taking responsibility for your part in this outcome (but not more), of showing that you care about how they feel, and of trying to be helpful going forward.

Most conversations can be initiated from the Third Story to include both perspectives and invite joint exploration.