Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition

When tackling a difficult conversation, careful thought and preparation in how you will approach the conversation is more likely to go smoothly than allowing frustration to lead the way with a stream of criticism and contempt.

At home, poor communication often leads to unnecessary conflict that destabilizes our relationships and turns sources of support into sources of anguish. When we are in regular conflict with our partner, we might

Say What Is Still Missing. As you struggle with conflicting perceptions and conclusions, each of you needs to say unambiguously where the other person’s story still doesn’t make sense to you.

We engage in respectful, collaborative, TIMELY, and complete dialogue. We clearly and directly convey ideas and share our point of view, while maintaining openness to different perspectives. We listen to understand and respectfully question to achieve clarity, IN BOTH MESSAGE AND MUTUAL EXPECTATIONS. We openly discuss critical issues, and deliver d