We ask four assurances of love from a partner or significant other. A yes to each of these questions gives us evidence of a caring connection. Each yes can become a commitment to the building of true trust and fearless love: Are you there for me and how? Do you care about me and how? Do I matter to you and how? Are you interested in me and how?

when the big stuff comes up, ask your partner if she or he is willing to join you as an equal partner on a learning journey. If the answer is yes, you join together in a relationship of true possibility. If she or he is more committed to being right than to actual, real intimacy, the answer will be something other than yes. Then you must move on, a

Instead, you will begin to see that you are partners suffering from past hurts and also partners in the project of helping each other create safety in your relationship and respond to each other’s needs. This way, you both can experience the sensations of feeling fully alive and joyful connecting. You are allies on this journey, not competitors. Yo

stability, responsibility, compassion, groundedness, maturity, the desire for kids,”