Sublime

Who do I feel comfortable going to when I am most upset? Who can I go to in times of need?

I often picked relationships where I could remain emotionally distanced, removed, often emotionally unavailable. When I continued to feel my emotional needs and deep desires for connection unmet, I would react, calling or texting too often, throwing tantrums, and picking fights.

Here are some adult examples of projection and projective identification: Your BP girlfriend accuses you again and again of not loving her and wanting to abandon her. For years, you try to get her to see that this isn’t true, but nothing works. Exhausted, you realize that the relationship is over and you need to get on with your life—thereby “aband

Research findings support the exact opposite. Getting attached means that our brain becomes wired to seek the support of our partner by ensuring the partner’s psychological and physical proximity. If our partner fails to reassure us, we are programmed to continue our attempts to achieve closeness until the partner does. If

Berne labeled networks that develop early in life as Child ego states. When we activate one of these, we act like the child we once were. Networks which represent the internalization of the people who raised us, as we experienced them, Berne named Parent. When in Parent we think, feel, and act like one of our parents or like someone who took their

But as anyone who has worked with issues of so-called codependency knows, accommodation, while overtly self-denying, is in fact, also a form of control—trying to “not set him off.” I define codependent behavior as occurring when you back away from perfectly reasonable behavior—like telling the truth—for fear of your partner’s unreasonable response.

chasing after another person as either a balm for our wounds or a distraction from being with our pain is what leads to codependency and love addiction.