Sublime

Sullivan believed that our struggles were interactional (meaning “relational”). He went so far as to say, “It’s the mark of a senior clinician that he or she is the same person in their living room that they are in their office.” We can’t teach patients to be relational if we aren’t relational with them.

Finally, in designing an intervention, consider the skills and resources in your own tool kit.

The organization supports coaching for those in top positions, knowing that simply having a sounding board outside the organization can prevent the insularity that undermines adaptability.

Employees

The overachiever:

I didn’t ask her to get present to the discomfort of living a life in which her values were being consistently violated. I didn’t ask her to describe what she wanted to experience and how she wanted to feel when running her business. And I didn’t ask her why she thought she had created this current situation for herself, thus checking her level of

three identity issues seem particularly common, and often underlie what concerns us most during difficult conversations: Am I competent? Am I a good person? Am I worthy of love?

But often the victims are the most competent people, because these are the ones who pose the greatest threat to a fixed-mindset boss.

She gets an agent, she gets a lawyer, she gets an accountant. She knows she can only be a professional at one thing. She brings in other pros and treats them with respect.