Sublime

Le dépendant se soumet aux besoins de l’autre, même quand cela lui fait mal. Le mec qui n’est pas dépendant cherche le point d’intersection où ses propres désirs et ceux de sa partenaire se rejoignent. Le narcissique, lui, surcompense en ne cherchant qu’à satisfaire ses propres besoins. C’est pour cela que les narcissiques nourrissent souvent des c

Reframing “defects" as deficits

So, now we have moved from thinking about one form of trauma to four. Trauma might be: Intrusive and disempowering, e.g., being sworn at or beaten Intrusive and falsely empowering, e.g., incest, emotional caretaking (regulating a parent) Abandoning and disempowering, e.g., “you’re unworthy,” scapegoating Abandoning and falsely empowering, e.g., “yo

Phases of Love Bombing Idealization Phase

This is the “wow” stage. You’re praised, adored, and told you’re unlike anyone else (well, you are unlike anyone else, but still). Things feel effortless with this person, and they might say things like “I’ve never felt this way before” after only a few dates. It can feel magical, but it’s also moving at a

Being human plagues narcissists. To show vulnerability shatters their image and leaves them with a raw shame that’s so intolerable they often react with the rage of a wounded animal.