Sublime

As adults we look for the partner who will be just right. At first that means a replica of our parents with some of the better—or missing—features added. So we find the man who controls but is also loyal. As we mature we no longer seek the negative traits, only the positive ones. So we no longer look for controlling men but for loyal men who let us

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Most of our longings can be expressed as a desire to love (self, another person, work, nature, or God) and to be loved (by self, another person, our environment, or God). The first step is to learn to love, and be loved by, ourselves. In this way we establish a foundation for fulfilling all our longings. We learn to identify with a part of ourselve

My real need, of course, was to realize that I didn’t need a man to fill what only felt like these insatiable emotional needs. The needs themselves were not real, but merely a reflection of the fact that I thought of myself as less than perfect. Salvation would only come through my relinquishing the thought that I wasn’t good enough. By defending m

The truth is that each of us is whole and complete. We are worthy of love, unadulterated joy, and fulfillment.

You need to detach most when it seems the least likely or possible thing to do.

Maintain a bottom line: a limit to how many times you allow someone to say no, lie, disappoint, or betray you before you will admit the painful reality and move on to mutual work or separate tables. This includes confronting addiction to exciting but futureless relationships in which you keep looking for more where there is only less, keep looking