Sublime

we have committed ourselves to doing the work of self-parenting and learning the necessary skills to regulate our emotions,

Love from another adult does more than just satisfy us in the present. It ripples back in time for us, repairing, restoring, and renovating an inadequate past. Sincere love also sets off a forward-moving ripple and a resultant shift inside us. We get to the point where we can think: “Now I don’t have to need quite so much. Now I don’t have to blame

“The earlier the unresolved need, the less capable we are as adults of sustaining our sense of well-being when that need is not fulfilled by another.”

no

If we missed out on attention when we were children, we might have learned to attend to ourselves, to become more and more creative, to look for attention from adults other than our parents. In this way, a deficiency became something beneficial, the pothole that became the portal. Likewise, our ability to reach out as adults may be directly proport

We bring to our intimate relationships everything we didn’t work through or complete in childhood. From the perspective of those who see relationship as a path of growth, that is a blessing.

If you’ve been working this process, if you are on this journey of healing, you know that it is very hard work. It is major reconstruction. We are reworking ourselves on so many levels from the hardwiring of the limbic brain to our core beliefs, from our self-concept to how we relate to others, from the anxiety in our chest to our ability to love,

American astronomer Charles Kowal identified the minor asteroid Chiron, which was finally big and bright enough to see. Chiron became known as the “wounded healer” planet, referring to the Greek god Chiron’s ability to heal everyone but himself. In 1951, Carl Jung had been the first to apply the term “wounded healer” to the way in which a healer’s