Sublime

Check for distortions. Spend some quiet time weighing their attack on your judgment or arrogance against other information you have about yourself. Check for denial. In what ways is what they are saying true? Check for exaggerations. What is the worst that could happen here? And what might you do right now to turn the conversation around?

In communications that are difficult or draining, ease into the heart and find something to appreciate about the person you’re dealing with, or find a feeling of compassion or kindness.

In a true dialogue, both sides are willing to change.

The first step to dialogue is to get your heart right.

Here’s what I’m noticing. I ask you if you are feeling hurt by what I said, and you say, “No, no, no, of course not. I’m not that kind of person.” But then you keep acting toward me in ways that people act when they’re hurt or mad at me. At least that’s how I’m seeing this. It seems to me the best thing to do is to try to figure out what I’m doing

Lesson 5: Don’t begin with the hard stuff

If you do everything in our power to not have uncomfortable conversations with family members, friends, and colleagues, then the mere possibility of having to raise an awkward issue can clamp your mouth shut.