Sublime

I would sit and watch couples like Jamie and Hugh. The angrier Jamie became, the more she criticized Hugh, and the more silent he became. After lots of gentle questions, he told me that underneath his silence, he felt “defeated” and “sad.” Sadness tells us to slow down and grieve, so Hugh had begun to grieve his marriage. And, of course, the more h

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENT

but for now it’s better to give the responsibility for your early relationship and attachment style to her than to…

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However, after years of practicing relationship therapy and counseling, I now believe that there are two basic personal requirements that both partners need to fulfill to have a long-lasting intimate relationship. Once these requirements are met, the basic psychological foundation is established. Although this is by no means a guarantee, it sure in

The key lies in the felt experience of safety, and safety, from my family therapy perspective, is a boundary issue—an issue of distance regulation. You will not wall off and abandon me; nor will you intrude and try to control me. The neuroscientist Stephen Porges posits that feeling safety in another person with whom we interact consists of two imp

David Barlow. He was (and still is) one of the premiere anxiety researchers on the planet.

And so often, underneath it all, these questions originate in our basic, human longing to know: Do you love me?

A secure attachment combined with the cultivation of competency builds an internal locus of control, the key factor in healthy coping throughout life.7 Securely attached children learn what makes them feel good; they discover what makes them (and others) feel bad, and they acquire a sense of agency: that their actions can change how they feel and h