Sublime

The overall conclusion: a sense of secure connection between romantic partners is key in positive loving relationships and a huge source of strength for the individuals in those relationships.

love relationships,

A woman connected to this type of MEM needs to recognize this core reality: He is acting out with her the scene he couldn’t enact with his mother. He demands that his wife tolerate his distance, because his mother wouldn’t tolerate it. His busy schedule is not the reason he is unavailable.

both partners can hear each other’s attachment cry and respond with soothing care,

Les chercheurs associent ce que nous appelons l’amour à trois besoins distincts dans le cerveau : le désir sexuel, l’attirance et l’attachement84. Quand on passe du désir sexuel à l’attirance, l’envie globale de créer du lien se porte sur une personne spécifique.

When Nancy started to cry, he observed that nobody should have to bear so much pain all by herself, and he asked if she would like to choose someone to sit next to her. (He called this a “contact person.”) Nancy nodded and, after carefully scanning the room, pointed to a kind-looking middle-aged woman.

you had to be vigilant and fight to be seen and responded to?

The people we love, asserts Coan, are the hidden regulators of our bodily processes and our emotional lives.