Sublime

No one is always anything. We each exhibit a constellation of qualities, positive and negative, and constantly grapple with how to respond to the complicated situations life presents. And we don’t always respond as competently or compassionately as we’d like.

Establish ground rules. Propose rules making it safe to discuss the conflict, such as committing to confidentiality, staying in the room with PDAs and computers off, depersonalizing the conflicts, and brainstorming. Set the agenda.

The third error we make in the “What Happened?” Conversation has to do with blame. Most difficult conversations focus significant attention on who’s to blame for the mess we’re in.

As for Kelleher’s own office, the architect had received specific instructions: no windows. Once word had spread that he had a windowless office, Kelleher explained, how could anyone dare jockey for an office with a better view? To further control new-office politics, his executive assistant, Colleen Barrett, now a corporate officer, banned departm

their role, work priorities and working style.

For you, as a company leader, to resolve conflict, you only need to get each person to state their deepest, darkest thoughts, and then prove that each has heard what the other has said. This can be done verbally or in writing. I prefer the written method, as it takes about a third of the time, requires almost no facilitation (i.e., it’s easy to sta

Everyone has a particular capacity for tolerating conflict. Some people are comfortable working through conflict, while most avoid it entirely or try to get through it as quickly as possible. But surfacing the relevant conflicts is essential when an organization is falling short of its aspirations.

“First,” Avi said, as he turned from the board, “I should be on the lookout for blame and justification—for signs that I might be in a box. I can be on the lookout for signs of the various common boxes, for example—ways I’m feeling better than or entitled or worse than or anxious to be seen as.