Sublime

the five A’s come to us as gifts in childhood. They are then bestowed by us as gifts to others. They are not the result of effort but are the automatic overflow of love we receive.

We can recognize our proneness to pain by looking at the kind of reactions we are hoping to elicit from others by our choices and behavior. This includes mannerisms, expressions, style of dress, the kind of possessions we choose, the brand name of car we drive, the kind of home we have, the address at which we live, the schools we have attended or

Do not push away, do not invite. Work from the middle, and slowly you will transform attachment into an open mind that allows you to make appropriate choices.

like to imagine the FACES flow as a river. The central channel of the river is the ever-changing flow of integration and harmony. One boundary of this flow is chaos. The other boundary is rigidity.

At one time, our main motive may be to seek out and respond to challenges, to take hold and become deeply involved in projects and relationships. This is functional ego work and takes rightful precedence over letting go. At another time, what will work best for us are choices that lead to fewer encumbrances, to lightening up, and letting go. This i

As we allow our softer side to emerge, we notice a new dimension: every one of these negative qualities is actually a form of pain, No one wants to be afraid of closeness; it hurts to have that fear! A controlling person feels the pain of stress and of noticing that her mien alienates her from others’ love!

My real need, of course, was to realize that I didn’t need a man to fill what only felt like these insatiable emotional needs. The needs themselves were not real, but merely a reflection of the fact that I thought of myself as less than perfect. Salvation would only come through my relinquishing the thought that I wasn’t good enough. By defending m

to simply say what people are doing that we either like or don’t like. Next, we state how we feel when we observe this action: are we hurt, scared, joyful, amused, irritated? And thirdly, we say what needs of ours are connected to the feelings we have identified.

The main psychological tools are working through personal and childhood conundrums with a commitment to identify, process, and resolve issues so that you may change and grow. The spiritual tools are letting go of ego, increasing mindfulness, and cultivating an ethic of compassion.