Sublime

Take a current problem. Strip it of all the superimposed layers of your reactions. The first and most handy layer is that of rationalization, that of “proving” that others, or situations, are at fault, not your innermost conflicts which make you adopt the wrong attitude to the actual problem that confronts you. The next layer might be anger, resent

The path to love begins in our own past and its healing, then moves outward to relationships with others.

Attachment—how is an attachment formed? First comes the contact with something that gives you pleasure: a car, an attractively advertised modern appliance, a word of praise, a person’s company. Then comes the desire to hold on to it, to repeat the gratifying sensation that this thing or person caused you. Finally comes the conviction that you will

Love from another adult does more than just satisfy us in the present. It ripples back in time for us, repairing, restoring, and renovating an inadequate past. Sincere love also sets off a forward-moving ripple and a resultant shift inside us. We get to the point where we can think: “Now I don’t have to need quite so much. Now I don’t have to blame

Who decides what will finally make its way to your conscious mind from all the material that is pouring in from the world? Three decisive filters: first your attachments, second your beliefs and third your fears.

The one thing to remember is that those who give us what was missing in our past also show us what was missing. That combination of fulfillment and grief can be hard to hold, so we have to be patient with ourselves.

DAILY MEDITATION • The first practice is to meditate daily Begin with a few minutes a day and increase to about twenty as an ideal minimum. It is best to sit together as a couple, but sitting alone is certainly appropriate and valuable also. Sit in a quiet space with your eyes open or closed, your back straight, and your hands on your knees or thig

It is exactly the same in relationships. Our early experience forms or deforms our adult relationships.

Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values.