Jessica

Talking about love is one of the grand traditions of being alive: what it means to fall in and out of it, how to keep it, how to grieve it, how to live for ourselves and toward another .1

A character should never get exactly what they want or what they're trying to get in a scene.

Instead, they either SHOULD get what they want BUT it has some unexpected consequence.

Or they should NOT get what they want AND it should have some additional unexpected consequence.

Girlhood is big business. The ones who are best at it literally treat it as an occupation, modeling or taking suitably candid-looking pictures of themselves, recommending clothes and jewelry and books, going viral on TikTok. They’re performing a way of being that looks joyful, effortless, and adorable. It’s a performance that by definition has a sh... See more

“I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter." I don't want it to be something that just passes.

“My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. A

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Normal behavior is forgotten. Only weird behavior survives.

Nobody tells stories of when you did the expected — they only tell stories when you did the unexpected.

Normal behavior costs nothing in the short term — but it disappears into the abyss.

Unconventional behavior costs a social price in the short term — but the actions live on as story assets ... See more

But in my opinion, the best way to get more comfortable asking “dumb questions” is to ask them more, because then you’ll see the benefit and become addicted. I learned this skill at school because I noticed the deep sighs of relief from classmates when I sacrificed myself by asking my teachers or professors the dumb question we were all thinking. A... See more

The thing I’ve learned over time is that friendships are not fungible—no two people are the same, obviously, but also you can’t replicate the experience of someone knowing you through a particular era of your life. You can never go back to that period of your life; you can never replace the people who witnessed you and supported you. To me, relinqu... See more

A big project of mine over the next year will be writing about cultural scripts and expectations in friendship. Friendship is vastly undertheorized as compared to romantic relationships, but they’re just as important: they affect our quality of life in the most fundamental ways. Friendship is an entry point to everything: work, romance, sense of se... See more