Raising children
The Little Chap Who Follows Me
A careful man I want to be —
a little fellow follows me.
I do not dare to go astray,
for fear he’ll go the self-same way.
I cannot once escape his eyes.
Whatever he sees me do he tries.
Like me he says he’s going to be —
that little chap who follows me…
He knows that I am big and fine —
And believes in every word of mine.
The ba
... See moreThe writer Zadie Smith puts it better than I ever could, describing having a child as a “strange admixture of terror, pain, and delight.” Smith, echoing the thoughts of everyone else who has seriously considered these issues, points out the risk of close attachments: “Isn’t it bad enough that the beloved, with whom you have experienced genuine joy,
... See morePaul Bloom • What Becoming a Parent Really Does to Your Happiness
Probably the biggest lie told in schools, though, is that the way to succeed is through following "the rules." In fact most such rules are just hacks to manage large groups efficiently.
Paul Graham • Lies We Tell Kids
Jung called this process Individuation, which is really a great word for it. We move from a social and cultural identity to a truly individual sense of self. While in the first half of life we internalize aspects of our environment, in the second half we explore and express the truths which arise from within, individuating ourselves from group iden
... See moreJude Star • The Paradox of Pursuing Happiness: Insights from Depth Psychology
.psychology
Jung differentiates the first and second halves of life, with the first being largely focused on developing an identity to succeed in the world. As adolescents we explore different social groups and activities, internalizing aspects of these things to form an identity. Our identity often relates to what music we listen to, how we dress, our hobbies
... See moreJude Star • The Paradox of Pursuing Happiness: Insights from Depth Psychology
.psychology
Life can be pretty good at 10 or 20, but it's often frustrating at 15. This is too big a problem to solve here, but certainly one reason life sucks at 15 is that kids are trapped in a world designed for 10 year olds.
Paul Graham • Lies We Tell Kids
The modern style of parenting is not just exhausting for adults; it is also based on assumptions about what children need to thrive that are not supported by evidence from our evolutionary past. For most of human history, people had lots of kids, and children hung out in intergenerational social groups in which they were not heavily supervised. You
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