Relationships
Tim Urban • How to Pick Your Life Partner - Part 2
After I detached and took responsibility for myself, I wondered if maybe other people weren’t the reason I hadn’t been living my own life; maybe they were just the excuse I’d needed. My destiny—my todays and tomorrows—looked pretty grim.
Melody Beattie • Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Revised and Updated)
Embrace the 15% rule: By pushing yourself just 15% beyond your current boundaries, you can create opportunities for growth and deepen connections with others. This approach allows you to gauge your comfort level and adjust gradually, avoiding overwhelming discomfort while still fostering meaningful progress.
Lenny Rachitsky • How to build deeper, more robust relationships | Carole Robin (Stanford GSB professor, “Touchy Feely”)
Overwhelming discomfort is real
A Major Regret in My Life: My Camera Roll
open.substack.com
Relationships are hard. Expecting a strong relationship without treating it like a rigorous part-time job is like expecting to have a great career without putting in any effort.
Tim Urban • How to Pick Your Life Partner - Part 2
For a woman who wants to have biological children with her husband, she has one very real limitation in play, which is the need to pick the right life partner by forty, give or take.
Tim Urban • How to Pick Your Life Partner
Most people – maybe more than you think – are peace- and love-seeking creatures who are sometimes caught in bad situations. The most practical thing you can do, even in hard times, is to lead with curiosity, lead with respect, work hard to understand the people you might be taught to detest.
“That means seeing people with generous eyes, offering tr... See more
“That means seeing people with generous eyes, offering tr... See more
‘I hope so’ because I don’t want to lose this unique, special friendship that I’ve never had before.”
The rule should be “whatever you do, don’t marry the wrong person,” but society frowns much more upon a 37-year-old single person than it does an unhappily married 37-year-old with two children.