On love, limerence, and other-significant-others
I know that limerence can be misleading. It can be the beginning of a good relationship, or a complete disaster. If someone feels like the answer to the question of your life, you might want to address the fundamental sense of lack that they are triggering.
Sasha Chapin • 50 Things I Know
I think all romance is an enduring curiosity for another person.
valley of things unsaid
People are not reliable narrators of their heart’s desires. You have to listen to what they’re saying, but you also have to study their actual behavior and their previous partners to understand their real preferences.
I believe most people we spend time with should be “low maintenance, high intimacy
Andrew Ettinger • 30 more things I believe
There’s a real tension in love — at the beginning of love, particularly — between the desire to be honest about who one is and the desire to win the affection of another person. Of course, ideally, we can both be honest and loved for being honest. That’s the dream.
Maria Popova • Aloneness, Belonging, and the Paradox of Vulnerability, in Love and Creative Work
When we insist that we could only ever effectively love someone who’s been perfectly “healed” — who will not struggle, accidentally hurt us, trigger us, say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, or participate in any other uncomfortable display of humanity — we are reinforcing, and perhaps projecting, our own beliefs that we have to be perfect in or... See more
Winnicott on the Qualities of a Healthy Mind and a Healthy Relationship
Maria Popovathemarginalian.org“I have always felt that a human being could only be saved by another human being,” James Baldwin wrote in one of his finest essays. “I am aware that we do not save each other very often. But I am also aware that we save each other some of the time.”
I miss the futile fantasizing and being the precise target demographic of Taylor Swift’s marketing efforts. I miss being on the floor, ready to nail-to-cross myself for love. The dull aftertaste of heartbreak lingering for days, often weeks. But then, you know, I look in the mirror, and I like what I see. I see that I’m protected and can think stra... See more
It is rare for people to come into themselves if no one is excited and curious about their core, their potential. We need someone who gives us space to unfold.