How to Ruin a Great Conversation: 1. Replace curiosity with curiositas. 2. Treat therapeutic self-disclosure as the zenith of intellectual intimacy. 3. Assume that talking about great books is the same thing as having a great discussion. 4. Allow your conversations to become sclerotic. 5. Focus on the form of your conversations to the neglect of the content. The full essay by Brian Daskam is now live.
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We too often think that deep conversations have to be painful or vulnerable conversations. I try to compensate for that by asking questions about the positive sides of life: “Tell me about a time you adapted to change.” “What’s working really well in your life?” “What are you most self-confident about?” “Which of your five senses is strongest?” “Ha
... See more« Une des choses qui fait que l’on trouve si peu de gens qui paraissent raisonnables et agréables dans la conversation, c’est qu’il n’y a presque personne qui ne pense plutôt à ce qu’il veut dire qu’à répondre précisément à ce qu’on lui dit.