We have an obligation to ourselves to stretch, reach, and tip-toe outside of our comfort zones. More than that, I believe we have a moral obligation to encourage others to step into a new safety zone with us, even if it’s uncomfortable at first. When I strike up a conversation with a stranger in a way that makes them feel safe to converse with me,

Find a person on your left, a person on your right, and a person dead center who likes you. These will be the people who are smiling. Nodding. Laughing. Use these three people as your guideposts. Make eye contact with them, and the people in each of those areas will feel you are attending to them as well. Choosing people who like you will make you

Those who feel socially anxious tend to focus their attention more on how they are being perceived by those around them (Clark & Wells, 1995). But those who feel more confident tend to have a more outward focus of attention, leading with a curiosity for other people.