Who Are You, Really?: The Surprising Puzzle of Personality (TED Books)

there are various ways you can shape your closest social environment to support your projects.

Choose a diverse set of people to share your projects with, communicate clearly about what matters to you, share projects wholeheartedly with the most important people—and you grant yourself a greater chance of success.

The greatest value in thinking of personality as “doing projects” rather than “having traits” is in three powerful words: potential for change. We can consciously choose and adapt our projects in ways that we cannot change our traits.

It’s important to understand how restorative niches work because, when we act out of character, our environments might afford us the opportunity to return to our “natural” state.

there’s another key factor that determines whether this project ultimately builds you up or wears you down: How much support you have from those with whom you are connected.

This capacity for shape-shifting is a startling and fascinating aspect of our personalities. Your ability to act beyond the bounds of your personality is where the purpose of my impertinent questioning at the bar becomes fully clear, because the reason we often take on new traits is to more effectively pursue our personal projects.

Meaning-Manageability Trade-off: Often we end up sacrificing meaningful personal projects for manageable ones.

The Emotional Tenor of Personal Projects: Your life may be imbued with projects that are meaningful, manageable, and effectively connected with others, and yet problems might arise with the kinds of feelings you experience when you are pursuing them.

when it comes to well-being, projects can trump traits.