Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (Goop Press)

the time limit should be never! He should never stop with the new behaviors, and he should never expect her to blindly forgive the pain he’s inflicted. “And how dare you make demands after what you’ve put me through?”

You know a relationship matters to you in a healthy way when you are willing to act over the awkwardness of the small but scary steps that lead to change: 1. Notice which behavior of yours leads to problems for you or your partner. See through such excuses as: “This is how I am!” or “But I’m right.” Acknowledge the fear or pain behind any behavior

The way to make repairs in relationships is first by working to change your responses, that is, to recognize your triggers and use that knowledge to react in a different way.

Driven by fear and desire, these behaviors will continue until we get a response that reassures us the relationship is intact. Even though our partners have now responded, Little Me’s core wounds are not healed by this temporary return, so inwardly we remain on guard for the next sign of possible abandonment. It is very hard for Little Me to find t