We attribute our own actions to our situations, seeing our behaviors as perfectly normal responses to experience. But when someone else kicks a vending machine, we don’t see their past history trailing behind them in the air. We just see the kick, for no reason we know about, and we think this must be a naturally angry person—since they lashed out

Morally speaking, judgement gets a bad rap in the modern world. We talk about being non-judgemental as though it were one of the highest goals in life. In fact, it is impossible not to judge because judgement is the way in which the human mind thinks. What defines the low frequency of the victim mind is that you identify with what you think — in ot

We eventually figured out that Irene had a death grip on the belief “Everyone thinks I should be perfect at everything.” It had never even crossed my mind to judge Irene. But in a culture where we’re all ranked against one another from preschool on, it’s easy to see where she got her fear of being judged.

Every situation calls for a confirmation of their intelligence, personality, or character. Every situation is evaluated: Will I succeed or fail? Will I look smart or dumb? Will I be accepted or rejected? Will I feel like a winner or a loser?