There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate

My guiding assumption was “Something is fundamentally wrong with me,” and I struggled to control and fix what felt like a basically flawed self. I drove myself in academics, was a fervent political activist and devoted myself to a very full social life. I avoided pain (and created more) with an addiction to food and a preoccupation with achievement

And yet, no matter what bravery we show to the world, most of us have recurring doubts about our worth. We worry that we’re not desirable enough, good enough, successful enough. We fear we’re not enough, period. Intellectually, we may appreciate that loving ourselves would give us a firm foundation, one from which we could extend love out into the

I realized I didn’t have to lose my life in that same way that she did. Out of love—for my mother, for life—I resolved to hold myself with more acceptance and kindness.” We can each choose the same.

JANUARY 27—SELF-ESTEEM I can let go of the need to be self-critical. Today I will let go of the need to be self-critical. It has always been important to me to be the first to criticize myself. I think that if I get there before someone else does, I can spare myself the pain of being found lacking. In doing so, however, I inflict constant pain on m