The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust

(Geoff Colvin’s Talent is Overrated is a good read

You claim you are transparent and yet you … Say things to yourself or to each other that you don’t/won’t say to your clients. Avoid delivering bad news. Cover up or downplay mistakes so as not to make others uneasy.

empathetic listening, where the focus is actually on the act of listening itself. When you are fully engaged in the act of listening itself, your partner experiences it as an act of respect.

They can appear elementary. You might dismiss them as being too apparent to merit your attention.

“Others can’t see your intentions—they can only see your actions.

initiate difficult conversations for the benefit of the relationship. This takes courage and skill.

There are two signs that Name It and Claim It may be called for: (1) when you want to raise a topic that you might otherwise be tempted to avoid and (2) situations that require a metaconversation to break an ineffective pattern.

Name It and Claim It is a tool for making difficult conversations easier. Use it for elephant-in-the-room issues, to speak about the unspeakable in socially acceptable terms.

Think about the risks associated with a project gone wrong and how those risks are diminished when there are solid relationships to fall back on. When you take risks you: Act proactively to reduce ambiguity. Acknowledge uncomfortable situations out loud. Deliver hard news promptly and concisely. Take responsibility for mistakes. Are willing to expr