The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work: A practical guide from the international bestselling relationship expert
John Mordechai Gottmanamazon.com
The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work: A practical guide from the international bestselling relationship expert
A crucial part of a couple’s pattern is whether their repair attempts succeed or fail. Repair attempts, as I described on this page, are efforts the couple makes (“Let’s take a break,” “Wait, I need to calm down”) to de-escalate the tension during a touchy discussion—to put on the brakes so that they can prevent flooding.
Work on Me First, Us Second • Remember that the only person you can directly control is yourself. Focus on What You Really Want • When you find yourself moving toward silence or violence, stop and pay attention to your motives. • Ask yourself: “What am I acting like I want?” • Then, clarify what you really want. Ask yourself: “What do I want for my
... See moreHowever, appreciating our differences and making them work in harmony (versus yielding to the urge to kill each other) requires great effort and willingness to compromise and/or concede. The secret-in-the-sauce of marriage is not so much about finding compatibility (compatibility is easy), it is about discovering ways to handle and process incompat
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