The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work: A practical guide from the international bestselling relationship expert

Because of these dissimilarities, most marriages (including healthy, happy ones) follow a comparable pattern of conflict in which the wife, who is constitutionally better able to handle the stress, brings up sensitive issues. The husband, who is not as able to cope with it, will attempt to avoid getting into the subject. He may become defensive and

A crucial part of a couple’s pattern is whether their repair attempts succeed or fail. Repair attempts, as I described on this page, are efforts the couple makes (“Let’s take a break,” “Wait, I need to calm down”) to de-escalate the tension during a touchy discussion—to put on the brakes so that they can prevent flooding.

we need to watch ourselves so we do not succumb to the temptation to jump on our spouse in a judging or criticizing fashion. He says we need to be “gentle” in the process. If you feel angry or restless (antigentle emotions) and you want to deal with the issue immediately, be watchful—you can hurt more easily than help if you are in an emotional tiz