The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward

Regret is the quintessential upward counterfactual—the ultimate If Only. The source of its power, scientists are discovering, is that it muddles the conventional pain-pleasure calculus.[10] Its very purpose is to make us feel worse—because by making us feel worse today, regret helps us do better tomorrow.

This is one of the central findings on regret: it can deepen persistence, which almost always elevates performance. One of the pioneers in studying counterfactual thinking, Neal Roese, whose research appears throughout these pages and the Notes, used anagrams in one of his earliest and most influential papers. He, too, found that inducing regret—po

they’ve discovered that If Onlys outnumber At Leasts in people’s lives—often by a wide margin.[7] One study found that 80 percent of the counterfactuals people generate are If Onlys.

Human beings are both seasoned time travelers and skilled fabulists.

These seventy years of research distill to two simple yet urgent conclusions: Regret makes us human. Regret makes us better.

Every damn thing you do in life can pay off for you. Because, as we’re about to discover, regret doesn’t just

This process begins with two abilities—two unique capacities of our minds. We can visit the past and the future in our heads.

Optimism is associated with better physical health. Emotions like joy, gratitude, and hope significantly boost our well-being.[8] We need plenty of positive emotions in our portfolio. They should outnumber the negative ones.[9] Yet overweighting our emotional investments with too much positivity brings its own dangers. The imbalance can inhibit lea

get tattooed today!” So, they climbed into the car and rolled to