The Power of Eye Contact

a phrase that comes up again and again when someone is skilled at eye contact: When he looked at me, I felt like we were the only people in the room.

Penetrative, objectifying visual attention from males has even been dubbed the “male gaze” by academics and has been the subject of countless scholarly articles, particularly within literary criticism and critical theory.22

I recalled a line from Gertrude Stein, on Stein’s native Oakland, California: “There’s no there there.”

The true smile of enjoyment, what I have called the “Duchenne smile,” involves movement of a muscle around the eye—orbicularis oculi, pars lateralis—which causes the eye coverfold to move down very slightly.

primal empathy is a key component in social intelligence. Instantly grasping and internalizing what someone else is feeling is crucial for anticipating that person’s needs and responding appropriately; if someone feels that you “get them,” no matter how close or distant the relation, that person is bound to feel more connected and trusting of you.

Seeing an eye glazed over, or glassy, you feel as though there is an extra layer in between you and the person inside. While that outside barrier might be slightly shiny, there is no depth at all—not the deep, radiant oceans of reflection on an eye we call “sparkly” or “shiny.”

member, in an intentional exercise. Making infinitesimally brief eye contact with strangers on the street. Making longer eye contact with strangers such as waiters, salesclerks, and cashiers. Making substantial eye contact during conversations with friends, family members, co-workers, and other people you know. Making substantial eye contact during

I have put many free downloadable bonuses to this book on www.powerofeyecontact.com/bonus, including a free teleseminar series covering the topics of this book, audio interviews with experts, my free ebooks “How to Host an Eye Gazing Party” and “Beauty Secrets for Better Eye Contact”

because they are the exact opposite of how we appear when we are confident, resolved, and determined, we use the shrug to express the opposite of these attitudes.