The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
Caught in the trance of unworthiness, our desires fixate on soothing, once and for all, our anxiety about imperfection. We strive to tie up all the loose ends and to avoid making mistakes, even though we know both are impossible. We want to feel “good enough” all the time in our work, parenting, relationships, health, appearance, and life. We want
... See moreTara Brach • Radical Acceptance
stage 1: try to defeat perfectionism thru sheer force of will
stage 2: try to heal perfectionism by doing a bunch of therapeutic inner child shit (also psychedelics)
stage 3: fully accept perfectionism, relate to it healthily, and watch it become a source of unimaginable power
Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval. Most perfectionists grew up being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule following, people pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, they adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Plea
... See moreBrené Brown • Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
Perfectionism is a mindset that demands we perform as superbly as possible to be sufficient as a person. We conflate our goodness as a person with our performance in areas we care about—academics, our job, our social behavior, fitness, appearance, parenting, home organization, the list goes on.