The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships

Most adults who are not Sevens have forgotten how to play. Invite a Seven to teach you about the gift of playing.

That can be a real challenge because Nines tend to merge with the ideas and agendas of others in order to avoid conflict.

If you’re in a relationship with a Nine, please keep in mind that when they are passive-aggressive they are also communicating their hurt and disappointment—just not directly.

Nines see two sides to everything, for better and for worse. This makes it very difficult for Nines to make a decision, which leads to merging in relationships.

The Withdrawing Stance (Fours, Fives, Nines). These people are slow to act because they are often shy or introverted. They are seen as moving away from others, and their orientation to time is the past.

“It’s not lazy—it’s getting busy doing something that keeps you from doing what you ought to be doing.”

When Sevens do anything out of a sense of duty, their lack of enthusiasm is palpable; they are present, but they hold back on their energy waiting for some future event that is more promising.

His preference would be that I acknowledge that he is unhappy, figure out why, avoid doing what caused his displeasure in the future, and go on with life as if nothing happened.

They believe criticism is caring, so they have to be taught that not everybody feels the same way about being corrected or encouraged to seek improvement.