The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships

Nines have the ability to disconnect in any relationship.

Nines get energy from avoiding what needs to be done. In fact, some of their best thoughts or most creative thinking happens while they are avoiding the tasks that, for one reason or another, require their immediate attention. However, those in relationship with Nines seldom understand this dynamic, believing the Nine is lazy and assuming that if t

Sevens believe their needs are simple and few, when in reality they are complex people with complex needs.

They think independently and they are content to act alone. Acutely aware of what others want from them, Nines won’t risk their own integrity in order to join in an activity or belong to a group.

If you’re in a relationship with a Nine, please keep in mind that when they are passive-aggressive they are also communicating their hurt and disappointment—just not directly.

In relation to choices and behavior, Nines are the least controlling of all the numbers. Their appreciation for independence is a two-way street: they want theirs and they want you to have yours.

They believe criticism is caring, so they have to be taught that not everybody feels the same way about being corrected or encouraged to seek improvement.

“It’s not lazy—it’s getting busy doing something that keeps you from doing what you ought to be doing.”

There is a certain sense of self-worth and value that comes from standing up for something that is so important it cannot be compromised for what would end up being pseudopeace. It may not happen often, but when it does, Nines and their relationships are changed for the better.