The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery

I blamed my incompleteness on the guy who didn’t like me, the client who ended the contract, or the friend who wasn’t returning my calls. I did this rather than recognize that the only incomplete problem was my belief in incompleteness.

Caught in the trance of unworthiness, our desires fixate on soothing, once and for all, our anxiety about imperfection. We strive to tie up all the loose ends and to avoid making mistakes, even though we know both are impossible. We want to feel “good enough” all the time in our work, parenting, relationships, health, appearance, and life. We want

When you don’t trust yourself, you’re waiting to catch yourself in a mistake so you can pounce on your own certainty about how unworthy of trust you are. You get petty. You become fixated on your mistakes, and you keep a tally of those mistakes. In contrast, when you notice you’ve been numbing out all week beyond a level you’re comfortable with and

Those thoughts and feelings we’ve identified and reviewed all lead up to behavior (including inaction).