The Joy of Opting Out

Best of all, practicing renunciation of this sort doesn’t come with a feeling of martyrdom. You don’t have to wall anything off or deprive yourself of frivolous pleasures. The option’s always there. You’re just adding a new pleasure to the list of possibilities, and for once, it’s a kind that stays with you.

There is real pleasure in potato chips, Turtles and gossip too—of an intense, costly, and quickly-fading sort. If you pay attention, the life span of this pleasure can often be measured in seconds, while the costs last much longer. Developing a taste for the subtle sweetness of renunciation makes it progressively easier to take pleasure in the choi... See more

If you start practicing renunciation on this scale, you might notice an interesting side-effect: there is a kind of pleasure to be found in saying no. Your silent decision to opt out makes you feel empowered and wise, right then and there in front of the box of Turtles. It’s a softer, but less conflicted kind of enjoyment, more akin to the pleasure... See more

It’s within the power of each of us, if we want, to calmly and silently renounce participation in this gossipy conversation, this impulse purchase, this Twitter argument, this strike of the snooze button, this passing tray of Fererro Rocher—forever.

The key as I see it, in my limited experience, is making our renunciations very small. I don’t know how to renounce snack food forever, and I’m pretty sure I don’t want to. But renouncing my participation in this bowl of Doritos is always doable. It’s a small feat with a lasting benefit: future temptations, of all sorts, lose a bit more of their pu... See more

The stronger we are at renunciation in particular, the easier it is to refrain from making tempting but costly choices in every area of life. By practicing chip non-eating, or any other specific form of renunciation, you’re simultaneously getting better at avoiding wasteful purchases, going to bed on time, declining a third drink, and otherwise qui... See more

I think of these qualities as ten often-weak muscles each of us can strengthen during day-to-day life if we look for opportunities. The stronger these traits get, the less tricky your collisions become with certain recurring experiences that make life difficult: laziness, ill will, greed, egotism, and so on.

Renunciation is one of ten trainable qualities known traditionally as the paramis (the others being generosity, resolve, patience, morality, effort, insight, loving-kindness, equanimity and truthfulness).

Sometimes, improving one small, seemingly obscure skill can make you better at dozens of things at once.