The Invisible Kingdom: Reimagining Chronic Illness

From the earliest days of my medical career I’d held a deep, intuitive feeling, almost a sympathetic pain for patients whose illnesses made them unrecognizable, sometimes even to themselves. Perhaps because I’d experienced my own identity as fragile, my old fear of not having a handwriting, I saw myself in these patients.

“Considering how common illness is, how tremendous the spiritual change that it brings, how astonishing, when the lights of health go down, the undiscovered countries that are then disclosed, what wastes and deserts of the soul a slight attack of influenza brings to light, what precipices and lawns sprinkled with bright flowers a little rise of tem

Mental illnesses are often seen as chronic and intractable forces that take over our lives, but I wonder how much the stories we tell about them, especially in the beginning, can shape their course. People can feel freed by these stories, but they can also get stuck in them.

We saw every type of doctor you could imagine, lost count of how many treatments and therapies we tried, spent thousands of dollars, gave up all hope of her getting better, and started making plans for an early death. I was in my mid-thirties making plans to be a single father.